Time to thrive.
Listening is an art and my ministry. We live in a world where everyone is connected, so why do so many people feel just the opposite? Active, fully engaged, compassionate listening isn’t just an art; it’s my ministry. When life is crashing in on all sides, and well-intentioned advice and anecdotes just aren’t enough, someone who really listens can be a lifeline. My passion is to make every person I meet feel genuinely listened to and cared for. I pray that you are a little better off when we part than when we met.
Help that actually helps.
If you’ve found your way here you’ve probably already gotten your fair share of opinions but maybe not as much help as you’d hoped. There’s also a lot of people out there calling themselves “influencers” these days, grabbing for your kid’s attention. You get to decide who you listen to, but as your kids get older, who they listen to gets harder to navigate, even if you are tech savvy and super involved.
As a professional, I want to help. As a parent, I commiserate. As a human, I just want a nap.
Helping others achieve better mental, physical, and spiritual health is what gets my booty out of bed. (Also the noisy humans I made.) I created “This Is Not What I Signed Up For” for anyone ready to kick judgment and toxic positivity to the curb as get on with some serious ch-ch-ch-ch-changes for yourself, your daughter, or your whole family.
So what in the H-E-double hockey sticks makes me qualified to do this? That’s your call. I’ve done my best to educate myself in a way that provides a holistic yet balanced perspective. I have copious amounts of formal and continuing education.
I bring a variety of styles and approaches to my treatments. Some are used in acupuncture sessions to get to the root of struggles with pain or maybe trying to lose weight or get out from under the weight of crushing anxiety. I’m also a clinical pastoral counselor and wellness coach. There are many options all of which can be personalized to your specific needs.
I strive to provide a safe, caring place to discover how to live a life full of purpose, joy, and contentment in any circumstances while being true to the unique person you were made to be.
Temperament Counseling
If you’re feeling hurt, discouraged or even considering giving up, you need help. I strive to provide a safe, caring place to discover how to live a life full of purpose, joy and contentment in any circumstances, while being true to the unique person you were made to be. Our office offers pastoral, temperament-based counseling, which was developed with the belief that we are all created by God as unique individuals. This form of counseling, pioneered by the National Christian Counselors Association, is Bible-based, scientifically supported and provides temperament evaluation results that have been proven over 95% accurate.
Instead of talking in circles, a common complaint of those who have tried therapy, temperament counseling helps you understand who you are at your core. Understanding your temperament is often missing from modern therapy, as it provides a proven and measurable way to help you meet your personal needs healthily and productively.
Introspection is often an unreliable and unscientific method for understanding human behavior. However, temperament analysis can help you understand your unique strengths, challenges, and motivations while also revealing the unmet needs causing stress and conflict in your life and relationships. Together, we can use temperament as a guide to help you recover from your past and make better, more informed choices in the future.
Understanding your temperament, and thus better understanding yourself, is an invaluable tool that can help limit guilt, shame, and sadness while providing fulfillment, peace, greater persona, and joy.
PLEASE NOTE: This is a temperament overview, and test results do not constitute a medical diagnosis and are not designed to be self-determined. For thorough and accurate results, an APS test is required.
Call 850-364-4111 to learn more or request a counseling consultation or session.
How It Works
FIRST-We use an online test. Don’t worry, there are no wrong answers! It’s a scientifically-proven method to determine which unique blend of temperaments is uniquely you!
SECOND- We measure your temperament in three categories to determine how you elate to others, how you view the world, and your needs, struggles, and strengths.
The Real You
Everyone has a unique blend of the five temperaments listed below, which are measured in three categories: Inclusion, Control, and Affection. Our temperament score in each category provides highly personalized insight into our deepest needs and how we relate to people and the world around us.
It’s Personal
Most people are a blend of the 5 temperaments. Variation is common as different individuals measure higher or lower in the dominance of a temperament or in a particular category. This is why temperament therapy is so unique and personalized!
The Melancholy
Quiet, reserved, and intelligent, Melancholy is an introvert with a clever, active mind. The Melancholy is always thinking or working on something. Sensitive, intelligent, and creative, the melancholy craves alone time to think, create, and regenerate.
The Sanguine
Bright, bold, and bubbly, the Sanguine is the ultimate extrovert with lots of friends and big ideas. They always have a place to be. Impulsive, fun-loving, and energetic, the Sanguine is happiest when they get as much love as they give.
The Phlegmatic
Consistently calm, cool, and collected, the Phlegmatic can relate just as well to tasks as they can with people. Highly protective of their time and energy, often using their razor wit, the phlegmatic is hardworking, cool-headed, and reliable.
The Choleric
Naturally born to lead the way, a Choleric is truly a force to be reckoned with. An extrovert powerhouse with big dreams, big plans, and a (sometimes) big ego, the Choleric is ambitious, motivated, and unstoppable when their mind is made up.
The Supine
Thoughtful, giving and considerate, the Supine is always ready to help out, pitch in and serve. Always putting others before themselves, the Supine is a loyal friend, an extremely hard worker, and makes it their mission to make everyone feel special.
Breaking It All Down
The APS report identifies the three distinct areas of needs, personal characteristics, and motivations, including how we relate to people and the world around us. You can have a different temperament for each of the categories below, or a combination.
Putting It All Together
Hire a nerd….okay, someone who LOVES what they do and has studied A LOT, and you’ll benefit from a practitioner (me) with many tools in her professional toolbox.
I combine all my training and experience in my sessions, but some of my advanced special certifications include Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Neuro-Linguistic Programming. Both can be applied from a secular or Christian perspective. Here’s a little information on the philosophy and methodology of these two modalities. I won’t expand further on lifestyle and wellness coaching here because it is precisely what it sounds like. It is not medical advice but instead professional and informed self-care coaching to help you achieve your goals, whatever they may be.
Change Your Mind. Change Your Life.
I also use Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), or for those who prefer it, Biblical Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (BCBT) techniques. The theory of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is based on the idea that many of our difficulties stem from the way we think. Many believe that an event where something negative or hurtful affects us, causing emotional distress.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) was pioneered by Dr. Albert Ellis who created the A-B-C Model to help people understand the meaning of their reactions to adversity. For example:
A is the adversity—the event or situation.
- Our feelings or response “trigger.”
B is the belief or thought—our explanation about why the event/situation happened.
- This is the thought response we assign to the adversity or trigger. We must have attached a belief to an event to have a response, which leads us to the “C” in the A-B-C Model.
C is the consequent emotion and behavior.
In other words, this is the reaction or consequence of the feelings and behaviors our belief causes. Individuals use their beliefs to interpret what is happening to them. These beliefs might be accurate, optimistic, possible, and flexible, in which case, these types of beliefs or thinking skills can help to reduce the amount of stress a person experiences in life.
However, a lot of beliefs take the form of automatic negative thoughts which are often rigid, inflexible and pessimistic, and this can play a huge part in exacerbating an individual’s stress levels. Fortunately, it’s possible to change our beliefs and, as a result, reduce our stress levels.
CBT is (usually) a time-limited, solution-orientated and collaborative method, which involves cognitive and behavioral techniques such as Socratic questioning and activity scheduling. Many forms of therapy tend to be open-ended and can continue for years on end.
Whilst regular access to therapy and revisiting it can be beneficial, CBT is more progress and goal focussed; the sessions should be planned and scheduled with a specific goal in mind so that results can be monitored and seen by the end. This relies on clients taking responsibility for themselves and their recovery and taking an active role in the implementation of techniques.
However, CBT and BCBT show us that it is not the event but a person’s belief about that event that causes the emotional disturbance. God’s word says that we should bring every thought captive to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5).
We will help you see how the way you think affects how you feel, how you feel affects how you behave, how you behave affects how you think and feel about others and the promises of God. In short, it all begins with how we think. Proverbs 23:7 says, “For as he thinks within himself, so he is.”
Working together to examine unhealthy or ungodly thought patterns that may result in unwanted behavior and consequences, we can reclaim 2 Corinthians 4:8-10, “…we are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed.”
*While Dr. G has Achology advance training certifications in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Neuro-linguistic Programming, these techniques, if applied in session, do not constitute a medical diagnosis. Scientific principals are not applied in contradiction to God’s Word.
Call 850-364-4111 to learn more or request a counseling consultation or session.
Self Talk Matters
No matter what your goal, we’re going to explore rethinking your thinking, because when you change the way you think, you change your life. Have you ever heard someone say “Would you let someone talk to your friend the way you talk to yourself?” Yep, thats Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) in a nutshell.
NLP is a way of changing your thoughts and behaviors to help best achieve desired outcomes. The popularity of Neuro-Linguistic Programming or NLP has become widespread since it started in the 1970s. Its uses include treatment of phobias and anxiety disorders and improvement of workplace performance or personal happiness.
NLP uses perceptual, behavioral, and communication techniques to make it easier for people to change their thoughts and actions. NLP tries to detect and modify unconscious biases or limitations of an individual’s map of the world. We all have these! People—yes all of us—can fall into the trap of believing that our opinions or feelings are the truth. You may feel as though your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs are facts or universal truth. However, your opinions, feelings, thoughts, and beliefs are simply your perception. In NLP this is what we call a “map of reality”, which is not necessarily reality itself.
People get stuck in their perceptions. It’s easy to do and almost impossible to notice as we’ve spent a lifetime creating our perception of the world based on our personal experiences. However, these perceptions, which are not always based 100% in reality, can cause relationships to fall apart, communication breakdown, and you may end up feeling completely isolated or feeling like your life is a mess.
If you want to live a strong, mature, and grounded life, then it’s important to become grounded in the facts; grounded in the truth. Many of the NLP models, techniques and practices are designed to help separate perception from reality and establish what’s true.
Sidenote: any counselor, therapist, etc. worth their salt has gone through this therapy themselves, myself included, and it is a total game-changer.
Hard. Freakin’. Work? Yes. Worth it? 100%!
Counseling for Teen Girls
Mama bear, you are not alone.
Unfortunately, sometimes big problems come in small packages. Anxiety and depression are on the rise. Anxiety has been the primary health issue for children and teens for over a decade.*(1) Mental health struggles can appear in kids as young as four or five years old).*(2)
Whether your daughter is struggling with anxiety, depression, avoidance or just a whole lot of attitude it can be hard to handle. Here I hope you’ll find solidarity, support, resources, and (in needed) referrals that can help you and your precious daughter.
There’s a saying, “Sometimes you have to let your little ones go and hope you raised them right.” I don’t know who said that but they sure weren’t a mom. When your daughter is struggling every fiber of your being screams at you to try harder, hold on tighter, press her to open up, and Google into the wee hours for answers. She is hurting, struggling, or faltering, and we just want to make it all go away for her.
Does any of this sound familiar? You’re terrified you’re losing her to her friends, the culture, or a bad relationship. She struggles with anxiety, depression or both and nothing you say or do seems to help. You’ve gone for profession help and it hasn’t helped, or you’re scared that reaching out will end in greater conflict or medication galore.
What do you do?
While I don’t have all the answers, I can offer you choices. Here I hope you will find options that give you a combination of education, understanding, at-home care options, one-on-one coaching or temperament counseling care, or assistance finding the resources you need if professional help is the best choice for the health and safety of your precious child.
Remember to give yourself a break, you are doing the best you can for your daughter.
(1) *Allison Edwards, Why Smart Kids Worry: And What Parents Can Do to Help (Naperville, IL: Sourcebooks, 2013), vi.
(2) *Bridget Flynn Walker, Anxiety Relief For Kids: On-the-Spot Strategies to Help Your Child Overcome Worry, Panic & Avoidance (Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications, Inc., 2017), 8.
Counseling for Women
Investing in yourself. Imagine the possibilities.
Or do you feel a pang of guilt? The old familiar “Putting everyone’s needs above my own” call to duty. A tune so old you know it by heart, but the song and your soul grows weary. You long for a new song to sing. An infusion of energy, passion, new adventures, different challenges. Where to start?
Maybe you’ve found success. More accolades and financial rewards than you imagined at one time. But the daily grind has taken toll. Discipline has become mind-numbing drudgery. Excitement has crumbled into emptiness. Is it too late to start again. Do something new? Reinvent? Revolt?
Whoever you are, there will always be more questions than answers. Resistance is mental manifestation of our mind and body fighting for homeostasis. Familiarity even and the cost of the same old life you’re tired of. There is no waiting to get comfortable.
The question is not how or what if, but when?
The answer is now.
Counseling for Mothers & Daughters
I’ll just say it…Motherhood is the worst, I mean best, I mean hardest job EVER.
I’ve heard it so many times. “Help! I don’t recognize my own daughter.” You may be wondering what happened to the days where she always wanted to be on your lap, hugged you, held hands, and followed you everywhere, including the bathroom?
Do you ever catch yourself wondering (or screaming out loud) “Who the heck is living in my house these days?” Maybe eye rolls and snarky comments abound. Or do you feel like you’re living with a human hurricane because everything becomes a catastrophe? Or perhaps you’re worried that the normal “teenage brooding” is actually a whole lot darker than what’s typical.
Parenting is never what we expect is it? Just when we think we’ve figured one stage out a new stage comes along to knock us on our butts and make us feel frazzled, exhausted, and ill-equipped all over again. Oh joy. How on earth do you raise a strong, confident, inquisitive, intelligent daughter without it coming back to bite you? Suddenly everything is a debate, a crisis, a fight, or the silent treatment. Now what?
The truth is there’s isn’t one right way. You’ll have to figure it out together, and I’m here to help. I aim to offer you and your daughter a variety of tools to help navigate this cage match, er, I mean journey, together.
Educational seminars may provide insights into behavior and time -tested techniques that may help at home. AcuPatching™ may help shift physical or mental imbalances increasing your or your daughter’s general wellbeing.
One-on-one coaching or pastoral counseling is a great option when a more hands on approach is needed. Combined with scientifically-supported temperament testing, which has been shown to be over 95.7% accurate, you can have a greater understanding of who your daughter is and why she responds they way she does. In turn, this may help you lean when and how to approach her. It can also help you understand how you respond to her and why there may be a disconnect based on how your potentially different temperaments view the world differently and have different stressors.
Motherhood is hard enough. You don’t have to go it alone.